Journal Entry Five

Journal Entry No. 1 (Bugis)

Everybody pretends. Tell me your own story of pretentiousness. Be honest to yourself.

Pretentiousness is a characteristic that everyone has, including myself. For me, pretends means a phase when we are acting to be somebody that we did not like or different, in order to impress other person. That is my vision towards pretentiousness. This is a story about my pretentiousness.

It started in first day of 2010, 1st January of 2010. Back there, I was 18 years old. I started my first part time job at Guardian Pharmacy at Tesco Peringgit, Melaka. At the young age, I've started to search my own money, serving my family. At work, I've been taught to be nice, always smile and kind. I can be nice and kind, but not always smile. For me, always smile is a naked fake or pretentiousness of someone. Nobody cannot always smile, believe me. Sometimes, you have to not to smile. For example, if you really really mad and stress, are you going to smile? A little crazy, isn't it? We are ordinary people that could not pretend everything is okay. In the words of smile and work, I have to do it. I smiled on anyone when I am working. Sometimes the customer mad at me, and I just smile. What a fake man I am? Deep inside I was burning, cursing and stuff. In order to fulfill my job, I have to entertain customer, greet them, say hello and others. I feel like I have became another person that I did not like. I don't be myself. And I hate it. But, the outcome was great. The payment was good, beating my supervisor salary. 

Then, my pretentiousness continues until now. As my friend know, I play skateboards, making me entitled skaters. Everyone has a good impression on me and respect me. I like it. But, the truth is I am not that good skaters. I only play for fun. So few tricks I can do like ollie, fakie ollie, frontside 180, kickflip, pop-shove it and others. But, not all the tricks I can land. There is a picture of me playing skateboard. A picture that I've done 360 flip, but it did not land actually. It just on air. It did not land. That's make me fake and people does not know it. Plus, people like it. But, who cares? I did not care if I pretended or not, as my friends still with me, I'm okay with that.